Ghosts Of You

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Ghosts of you .


Haunted by the phantom who holds me .

Making love to me in my dreams

Our hands fit and you hold my wrists

Delivering Sweet and piquant kisses

The silver bands sweep across my face

Cold metal against my burning flesh

My body moving to our rhythm

Keeping our secrets is killing me

Gaze upon who is left behind in the ruins

Sheets wrapped around us but I cannot hold on

Connected, broken a never ending contradiction

Black and white,words buried pledges left me unconvinced

Believing what should just be forgotten .

Flashes of memories safe in your arms drenched bodies

Fooled by what I thought was your telling contact

Kisses filled with love, lust, fade to a indifference

I fall backwards off a cliff your arms no longer outstretched to catch me

There is no way to float back up to you

The safety net of your love is gone I was so wrong.

Is this the image allowed to remain?

We converge and converse under the ebony sky

It is there where I want your honesty to be

This hopeless hallucination comforts me

Have you buried all the images and words?

I won't erase the past they need to remain

My promises unbroken,I release you from yours.

floating

Trapped below, its frightening.
Send me away now, I’m not smiling.
Never thought that you would go.
Floating around in the unknown.
You’ve lost your keys in this fable.
Never really thought I would be able,
to just have you, as be the one I call friend.
I’m drowning in this ocean of loose ends.
I've lost you too many times.
What can I say , to get in your mind.
Look at the ways I tried!

You were the one , but you don’t agree
I know it’s over, but you won’t stop the love in me
The memories don’t fade
It’s what’s left behind babe
I know it’s over, but we had possibility.
Now you’re so far away,
And I can’t find my way.

Nothing really lasts forever
Still longing to be together,
I hear you say , that I’ll be fine
We gave it a good try , stay behind the line
Now I don’t need this valise
but still it still holds our memories
Maybe it’s all for the best.
Is this all just a big test?

You were the one , but you don’t agree
I know it’s over, but you won’t stop the love in me
The memories don’t fade
It’s what’s left behind babe
I know it’s over, but we had possibility.
Now you are so far away,
And I can’t find my way

I’ll never keep you outside
Still need you in my life
My weakness won’t go away
But I won’t beg you to stay

You were the one , but you don’t agree
I know it’s over, but you won’t stop the love in me
The memories don’t fade
It’s what’s left behind babe
I know it’s over, but we had possibility.
Now you are so far away,
And I can’t find my way

numb

Can you see me hangin by a string
traveling far away from you , my world implosion
little fun then i’m done ready to explode ready set blow
and I’m gonna watch the show
understand the way i am and you ain’ t never gonna have this man
Come closer get numb watch me go , learn to fuckin let go

sunrise my eyes are open
suffocate whats broken
are you ever done are you ever free
silence makes me numb with out you

you believe that your chanign everything
and your feeling so tall that you can even see me
undone and im ready to explode on the things i dont know, and i just wanna let go
understand that the way that i am is a product of a way that you wanna play my hand
undone and im ready to explode on the things i dont know,

surprise my eyes were open
dont suffocate whats broken
are you ever done are you ever free
silence makes me numb without you
how can this go on take it all from me
silence makes me numb without you,

i never meant to cause you pain,
fighting aggrivation causing suffocation,
never meant to cause you pain,
fighting aggrivation causing suffocation,
i wont let you,

are you ever done are you ever free
silence makes me numb without you,
how can this go on take it all from me
silence makes me numb without you,
are you ever done are you ever free
silence makes me numb without you,
how can this go on take it all from me,
silence makes me numb without you,
without you, without you, without you

new poem

Well I’m all twisted high tide
Flood of muted memories
Desecrated core
Recollections stir the sky
And the trouble I’ve caused
Injudicious calls in the dark
Their gaze crawling over us
We don’t deserve this hostility
I see that's true now
Can’t they see
for so long , we loved ,
with all our hearts
but that was then

Time ticks away
And I can't talk right now
Back and forth a year goes by
We don’t need to speak about it

I fall down again
This place spinning
Waves of thoughts drift out to sea
My part in this,
leaves me gasping
I’m not breathing
Ignorance is bliss I know
we’ll never know
taken away
I’m alive
condemn me not
tears are falling,
Smiles and lies hide
The haunting

Time ticks away
And I can't talk right now
Back and forth a year goes by
We don’t need to speak about it
Sometimes it was right
And I couldn't talk about it
Our timing wasn’t right
And I don’t want to talk about it



Standing in the ebony
Shut your eyes and I'll shut mine
Commit it to our memory
Forgive you, forgive me
Absolve the first, past, and between

Standing in the ebony
Shut your eyes and I'll shut mine
Commit it to our memory
Forgive you, forgive me
Absolve the first, the past, and between

I fall to my knees and wish you’d see
the first and the between
It’s all here in my dreams
There and then we talk about it

And I fall to my knees and wish you’d see
the first and the in- between
it’s all here in my dreams
there and then we talk about it

With all the distorted thoughts in me
Caught in all this in between
With all the distorted thoughts in me
Caught in all this in between
With all the distorted thoughts in me
Caught in all this in between

And I fall to my knees and wish you’d see
The first and the between
it’s all here in my dreams
There and then we talk about it

And I fall to my knees and wish you’d see
The first of us it’s not obscene

drowning in black

Drop your ego by the sea and
leave me choking like you did before
break out
break out
break out

Let the black waters wash over me
It's getting harsh don’t you see
get you
get you
get you

No, no, no no no no
in my mind invade my privacy
blocking you out
no no, no no no no
in my mind invade my privacy
blocking you out

your ego keeps it down
waging war against me
knocking me out
fading before me

our secrets
our secrets
our secrets

Let the black waters wash over me
It's getting harsh don’t you see
get you
get you
get you

No, no, no no no no
in my mind invade my privacy
blocking you out
no no, no no no no
No, no, no no no no
in my mind invade my privacy
blocking you out


No, no, no no no no
in my mind invade my privacy
blocking you out
no no, no no no no
No, no, no no no no
in my mind invade my privacy
blocking you out


waiting to be gunned down
(Can't breakout) waiting to be gunned down
(Can't breakout ) waiting to be gunned down
(Can't breakout) waiting to be gunned down

Drop your ego by the sea and
leave me choking like you did before
break out
break out
break out

Let the black waters wash over me
It's getting harsh don’t you see
get you
get you
get you

They will not force us

Ebony tainted layers to copious to shed,

Rotating round the poises, falling down

Afraid to stand still, cannot breathe

Crashing waves, blinding light, buried underneath

Reaching for phantom spaces, ghosts of the living

All the simplicity gone, dead end roads, rotting roots

Plunging into nothingness, better silent

Unobtainable solid impenetrable

Shhh, it will be alright, a new heart of clay

Molded fired, now hard as stone

An illusion of what one wants to reveal

Propaganda spewed from the lips of a hero

Calm on the exterior but crumbling inside

Reflection is cracked glues not hiding imperfection

Drowning in dirt struggling to be free

Slip the memory on hold it tight

Deep within imagination hands entwined

Brushed against tear drenched lips

Storms deceiving fragments so close

Drift away conceal it all hiding in plan sight

Wear the smile the world wants

So the easy to just become invisible

He scratches her skin

A vampire world drenched in sin…

Afloat in the ebony sky…

His gaze draws her back to his side…

Grasps her soul and shows her death …

Shivers as he bites into her neck…

Blood dripping from her wrists …

Deeper bleeding her with his wicked kiss…

His mouth drinks from her lingering and deliberate…

Barely touching her chill so infinite …

Shivers as the bass makes her heart pound…

A room bursting with people but no ones around …

Ripping into her, he’s torn her apart…

It’s just the beginning to his world of dark…

Moving forward

My heart is raw our love shattered

I listen to the lyrics and I am back there so tattered

You cannot see me cry you will not hear my screams

I lie in bed loving you in my dreams

The notion, inspiration, so resplendent

Now I can’t breathe, the evil defendant

dark

He scratches her skin …
A vampire world drenched in sin…
Afloat in the ebony sky…
His gaze draws her back to his side…
Grasps her soul and shows her death …
Shivers as he bites into her neck…
Blood dripping from her wrists …
Deeper bleeding her with his wicked kiss…
His mouth drinks from her lingering and deliberate…
Barely touching her chill so infinite …
Shivers as the bass makes her heart pound…
A room bursting with people but no ones around …
Ripping into her, he’s torn her apart…
It’s just the beginning to his world of dark…

Hollow

I need to fill the hollow
Who and why
How and when
Let it flow

I have this pill to swallow
This waters thick
Bitter taste
Makes me hate


What have you done to me
No one knows

I am screaming in my mind
Guilty of my crime
Screaming in my mind
Guilty of the crime
Dying child

I give myself over to the desert
Clear my mind
Filled with despair
What a blow

I drift into the ocean
Dead emotions won
Can’t be undone

Positively full of sin
Can’t be undone

I am screaming in my mind
Guilty of my crime
Screaming in my mind
Guilty of the crime
Dying child


Love child inside me
Your gift in tow
And no one knows

A gift that shouldn’t be
No one knows

What lurks around the corner

Off in the distance you can see a shadowy figure. The fog is thick and you can smell the salty air from the pacific. It was moments ago that the sun was just setting and now the safety of daylight had been replaced with the darkness.

It was the kind of night that sent shivers down your spine. It was hard to see more then a few feet in any direction. The street lights were a welcomed sight but did little to improve the lurky uneasy feeling.

Amber just finished her shift at the Pirate’s Cove bar. It was situated just on the corner of main st in Torfino BC. Still dressed in her bar uniform that was a short black skirt and clinging white T-shirt with Pirates Cove, printed in black across her perky breasts. She stood exactly 5'4 inches, and her long blonde was hair pulled back off her face, big blue eyes and full lips and with curves in all the right places. Her looks were a definite asset in her line of work, and she was a horrible waitress but still managed to make the highest tips. Her good looks and sarcastic wit made her the bar’s employee of the month time after time.

She looked back over her shoulder when she heard the faint sound of footsteps behind her. It was a somewhat common occurrence for the local yahoo’s to try and follow a female home. Something about the gait of the person behind her was unsettling tho, and she couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe it was best to quicken her pace. It was definitely a male figure maybe 6" and he walked dragging one leg, almost like it had fallen asleep.

As the figure got closer she was overcome with a rotting corpse stench. The smell was quite unmistakable. Her summers working in the funeral home had etched that scent in her brain forever. On her first day of work they had brought in an elderly lady who had been dead for over a week, no amount of febreze would have covered that up.

Fearing the unknown, she picked up the pace and turned the corner. She could now breathe a sigh of relief knowing she was just metres from her small but chic apartment. The smell creeping up behind her became more and more intense. Should I look, she asked herself. Maybe it was best not to turn around. Everything inside her told her to run!

Just a few feet from her doorstep, she quickly plunged her left hand into her large black purse and rummaged for her keys. "Be calm,” she told herself. Suddenly she noticed a man leaning against a lamp post a few feet from her door. He was hard to make out. The man was talking on his cell phone. She sized him up to be about 5"9 or so, black hair and was wearing a grey work jacket. Amber finally found her betty boop key and slipped it into the lock. She had to wrestle with it for a few minutes. As she took a deep breath in, she felt sick from whatever aroma lingering in the air.

Just as she was about to turn the knob on her apartment door she felt a heavy clumsy hand fall on her shoulder. Panic had suddenly gripped her as she let out a blood curdling scream and turned around and came face to face with . . . A Zombie! His skin was gray and large pieces were torn from his flesh, he was tall and dressed in a bad gym suit that was tattered and dirty. His breath was putrid and he was almost bald with a bad comb over . . . She quickly looked over to see if the man she had seen before was still there . . . ”Help me” she cried to him frantically hoping that he was a man that would leap into action and not run away like a scared little girl. The zombie grunted “arrgh” and pointed to the man down the street who by this time she had noticed seemed quite unaffected by her screams and cries for help. “Ugh” he grunted louder “arghhhhh” still pointing in the other mans direction. He tugged on her arm ughrh grrrr argh. Was he here to eat her brains? He just seemed to point in the other mans direction?

“Do you want me to go over there” she said in a fairly sarcastic tone?

This made absolutely no sense to her by zombie standards. This guy was daft even though she had never encountered anything like this before. She thought maybe they were all morons’; maybe this is why they scour the country side eating brains in hopes or increasing their intelligence. Perhaps his last meal must have been a dumb blonde from Poughkeepsie.

The other man started to walk toward them. She tried to focus on the cell phone guy, instead or the Einstein zombie beside her. He looked like the guy from the commercial “Can you hear me now?”! He was standing in front of her now and handed her his cell phone. “Maybe you should call 911 here use my phone.” It was him, and she was sure of it now.

Frantically she punched in the numbers for the police. Oh God, no signal. Again she tried to no avail. She glanced over at the man who had handed her the cell phone and he was writing in a note pad. The zombie now beside him looking over his shoulder seemed to be entranced in what he was writing.

“What the fuck is going on?” She exclaimed.

“Well ma’am, I’d like to introduce you to Gnaarrgh Grrraaargrah Goooarargh, we work for the various cell phone companies across Canada and are conducting experiments to find out where the gaps in coverage are throughout the country.” At this point Amber was in total shock.

Was she still in danger? Was this guy for real? She started to speak her voiced cracked at first when she tried to put syllables together for words in an eventual sentence. “Are you going to eat my brains” she managed to muster? “Excuse me but unless you have a zombie translation book handy then maybe you should direct your questions to me.” “Ok Mister is the fucking Zombie going to eat my brains?”” It’s a simple question with a yes or no answer” she screamed. “Calm down no one is going to harm you at least neither one of us. Our job tends to get a bit boring so we throw in a little mayhem here a little fear or being eaten alive or turned into a creature much like our friend here.”“ You mean you just chase people hand them a phone and say try and call for help?". “In a nut shell yep we do.” “This is insane who would sign off on this!” “I want names, numbers.” “I need a minute, no wait I need two!” “What the fuck!”

“What if he had just decided that he was going to turn me into a Zombie, you know suck out my brains." “Oh that is a common misconception propagated by the movie industry.” “Gnaarrgh actually survives by sucking out bass player brains. Not only is he a zombie but we think he may be able to fill in for the bass player in poison.” “They are making a comeback album you know “ The annoying cell phone guy hands her another phone, “now try this one maybe call a friend your boyfriend.” She grabbed the silver shiny cell phone out of his hands.”I can’t believe that I am actually playing along with this whole scenario of yours.” “Yeah, yeah whatever can we move this along, or I’ll tell our little friend you play a twelve-string bass he’d eat you up” “Get it eat that eat you up.” She looked at the screen on the phone and could see that this experiment would heed the same results.”

“Honestly can you two not just look and see this phone has no bars and be done with it.” “ It’s possible just not as fun now dial” Amber dials her mom’s number, at least this way she would be able to tell her that she tried to call but couldn’t get through.

“Ok last one,” and he hands her a bright pink crinkle berry. The force is strong in this one . . . 555-2458, “It’s ringing” . . . “waiting” . . . “Damn voice mail, should I leave a message” “ sure by all means do it up”he quips back . . .” Hi Bess hope your night is going well! I am currently standing here with a 6-foot tall zombie and his master” “im sorry what was your name “ Oh it’s Fred “ . . . “Yes Fred some freakazoid from the twilight zone “. . . “call me k’s love ya “ Oh and by the way what is the address of that, ex-boyfriend of yours, the bass player?” “I have a friend who would love to dine on him” . . .

whispers in my sleep

Let the water wash away the darkness in your soul.

Unleash the emotions that are taking their toll.

Close your eyes let go and wait.

No one knows their slated fate.

Embrace the good and let go of bad.

Remember the best of what you had.

A cocoon of protection surrounds you when you’re weak.

Surrender yourself and drift off to sleep.

simply

I want you to see inside
By the way I want you more today
When our lips collide
It’s quite okay, to lead me astray

I want to be your harlot , enslaved .
Bled , take me to our secret place!
Opened my eyes one day and you were here
Sometimes it’s still unclear

You’re a charmer , make me quiver remembering how it began
I need you to realize you want me in your life, please try to understand
I'm not pushing,
Maybe you just have me in a trance

Should I just let it be
I’m so afraid of what you might say to me
you’re the one I’ve made my choice
We’ve had some lows , just want you to stay

I want to be your harlot , enslaved .
Bled, take me to our secret place!
Opened my eyes one day and you were here
Sometimes it’s still unclear

You’re a charmer , make me quiver remembering how it began
I need you to realize you want me in your life, please try to understand
I'm not pushing, I'm just saying
Maybe you just have me in a trance

Give us a chance
Give us a chance

Musings

When we whisper the things we write in ink.
We take a voyage to the brink?
Break me with words, mend me with actions.
Can’t comprehend this craving for you,
All those forbidden things, shattering the taboo’s
Who cares what they think.


We keep each others secrets
Time after time, how you blow my mind.
This intensity scares me
My heart stops beating,
Can’t stop this feeling
Oh how I’m traumatized when I’m with you
Let’s start all over again

After 1 again
Asking for forgiveness for my sins ,
Playing make believe hush now its just between you with me
Open your eyes, hold on tight, change direction , it's alright
Come find me , take the lead, let’s destroy their image
Of what it can be.


We keep each others secrets
Time after time how you blow my mind
This intensity scares me
My heart stops beating ,
Can’t stop this feeling
oh how I’m traumatized when I’m with you
Let’s start all over again

Darkness

Trying to hold my breath 

My life consumed with...

Blood seeps from my palms

Stained red from all the harm

Walls closing in around me

Panic strikes I can’t get free

Hush; hush quiet time always the same

Please offer up someone to blame

Clawing my way out of this coffin

All of this still unspoken

Floats away hide in the midnight clouds

Far away from all these doubts

Long walks in the dark

Underneath a question mark